


Benefits of practical Jokes

by ThymeSprite



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Elf/Human Relationship(s), F/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:50:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3459797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThymeSprite/pseuds/ThymeSprite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders has a slight prank war going on with Sigrun.<br/>Little does he know that after this night, he may have to thank the little dwarf.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Benefits of practical Jokes

Finally. With an exasperated sigh, Anders leaned back against the wooden, wet surface of the tub and closed his eyes. His back ached, his muscles stung and he just wanted to relax a bit down in the washroom of Vigil’s Keep.

Being a warden was not easy, but way better than having to spend his life in the wretched Tower. Sure, the style of life was rustic, the work tiring, the Darkspawn…simply sickening, but at least he had friends here, people he could count on.

Funnily enough, none of them was there with him, however, he enjoyed some time alone as well. That was, until he opened his eyes and wanted to get out of the tub.

“How on…?”, he mumbled, when he looked around and saw neither a towel, nor his clothes he had put out before.

“Sigrun!”, he cried in anger and bit his lip cursing, “You bloody little brat!”

Jumping to his feet, Anders looked around, not caring for the water he splashed about, dashed out of the tub and to the door. It was not locked, but it was ice-cold out in the cellars and so he shut the door again immediately.

“Shit.”, he cursed and then chuckled quietly to himself, “She really didn’t like my joke about her height and that…”

But he had only suggested that being so short compared to his tall body would give her the exactly perfect height to reach no higher than his crotch. Well, she had apparently not liked the innuendo. At all.

Snickering to himself, Anders thought the matter over and was sure that the merry little dwarven lass had to be the culprit. For really, only she and Nate would be able to sneak in on him and steal his clothes without him noticing and the grumpy Howe clearly was not the type for that sort of humour. Or…Yára, the lean and graceful elf could also have managed that, but why should she? It was only wishful thinking of Anders’ that she might have a reason for wanting to see him naked, but so far, nope, none at all.

Still grinning like a baboon, Anders shook his head and looked around again, desperately trying to find something he could cover himself up with. Not that he minded being seen naked, but Maker, the Keep was cold during winter, so he wanted some clothing.

“Oh come on.”, he groaned as he found absolutely nothing whatsoever, “Sigrun can’t have taken all the towels. I don’t wanna freeze my butt off!”

He was already shivering slightly, having been out of the warm bath for a few minutes by now and he knew he had to go to his chambers to find clothes.

“You’re gonna pay for that.”, he darkly mumbled a threat to Sigrun, although she was not there, “The game is on.”

Shivering from the slight chill in the room, Anders turned around, ready to open the door and make a run for it, stark naked as he was…when the door opened. Anders cringed for a moment, but then took a deep breath to regain his composure and managed to wear a confident grin, if nothing else, as his Commander entered the washroom.

For a moment, Yára’s green eyes fixed on him, then she frowned and cocked her head before closing the door again – all without a single word. He just could not understand that girl.

Still keeping silent, the elf put the clothes she had brought along to the tub and then, undoing the braid of her long, silky brown hair, wearing just a towel that just so hid her lean figure, she asked Anders: “Are you done?”

He, however, was staring at the sweet curve her breasts made under the fabric of the towel, not big, but small and precious, so that he had always wondered how it would feel to…

“Anders?”, she asked and snapped him out of his thoughts that were beginning to get dirty, so he smiled innocently, “Yes, Commander?”

Yára snorted and he grinned, for he knew perfectly well that she despised that title, so he had to top it off: “Is there anything I can do for you, great Hero of Ferelden?”

At this, she cringed and small wrinkles of exasperation appeared on her forehead, somewhat disturbing the tattoo of adorned horns she had there the same brown her hair showed.

“Are you still using this tub or are you done?”, she repeated her question and Anders chuckled for a moment before he shrugged and told her: “Maybe it slipped your attention, but…I can’t really get out there into the Kepp like this.”

“Why?”, she replied and he was dumbstruck until he managed to flash her a disbelieving grin, “You did see that I am naked, right?”

“Yes.”, she shrugged, “But trust me, you don’t have to hide your body.”

Mouth agape, he stared at her for that had almost sounded like a compliment. No, it was a compliment alright.

“Say, Commander…”, Anders mumbled huskily on purpose, “Was it you who removed my clothes?”

“No, why should I?”, Yára smiled brightly and he joked, “Well…maybe you just needed an excuse to see me naked and go on seducing me from there.”

At this, his Commander raised an eyebrow, but then she laughed whole-heartedly. She seriously laughed at him. Sulking, Anders looked to the side, crossed his arms in front of his chest and shifted slightly, now aware that he was naked and a bit too self-conscious about it, at least for his liking, when Yára shook her head, still laughing and told him: “Oh please, Anders. If I wanted to see you naked, I would simply have told you and not taken refuge in such a childish prank.”

“You may call it childish, but we did that at the Tower a lot.”, he grinned crookedly, still sulking, as she laughed again, “It is childish, but I did that a lot as well.”

“You did?”, Anders asked of her, not caring anymore that he was naked and she nodded, “Of course! Mostly to see the embarrassment of those who had lost their weapons, but sometimes…we did that for another reason.”

Unsure what that reason could have been, Anders raised an eyebrow and saw her smile. Surprised, he saw her coming closer, until she stood right in front of him, so close that he could feel the warmth of her body against his damp skin. She was short, even for an elf, so she had to get onto the tips of her toes to whisper in his ear: “Once you have someone naked, a few things are easier.”

His breath hitched in his throat at the suggestion and he just hoped, really hoped, that she meant the exact same thing he was thinking of. She did, as he learned when she touched his most sensitive parts without any hesitation. Powerless to stop it, Anders let out a low moan and stammered: “What…?”

“Shush.”, Yára told him, gave him a few explorative strokes that made him shiver with lust and then she looked him straight in the eyes, smiling.

“Does there need to be any explanation?”, she asked, still touching him skilfully and thereby depriving him of the possibility to think straight, yet he tried to come up with an answer, “No, I… I would just have prepared something if you had told me before.”

Stopping her caress, but instead wrapping her arms around his chest, she enquiringly looked up at him and Anders smiled, regaining his confidence, so he joked confidently: “You know, a nice cosy bed, some wine…”

“You are enough.”, Yára told him, making him speechless by this, even more so as she turned around and walked to the door. Anders was sure that she would just leave him there with an almost painful boner, when with a loud clank she turned the key in the lock. Smiling playfully, she faced him again and, tugging at the towel that hid her body, she explained: “Now we’re alone.”

Almost panting, Anders licked his lips, but his breath hitched as she let the towel fall and spread her arms to allow his gaze free roam over her body. Lust coiled up in him, throbbing whilst he looked at her, but her words made it explode in him: “Come here…”

He gave Yára a crooked, triumphant smile and saw her looking down at the unmistakable sign that he wanted her as well. Heck, who would not want this girl? He now had the chance and Anders was sure to savour it best he could.

Without any hesitation, he rushed to her, pinned the small elf to the door in her back and dove deeply into her mouth, battling her tongue as she responded with equally fierce desire.

Impatiently, Yára bucked her hips against him and it gave him an idea.

“Not right now…”, he murmured into her pointy ear and licked over the tip, making the elf in his arms hiss lustfully, “I have something else for you.”

She snorted, which made Anders chuckle before he, without any notice, dropped to his knees. Yára looked down at him in astonishment, but all Anders gave her was a smile before he pried her legs open and first kissed the firm and creamy skin, caressed the scars he found before he pulled at her leg in his grip, making Yára tilt her hips so had better access. And he took full advantage of it.

He tenderly placed a soft kiss on the little knob, but then delved deeper and firmly licked over the slit one time, eliciting a moan form her, before he repeated this, now taking more time and sliding the tip of his tongue in.

“Hmm…”, Anders purred with pleasure, “You taste like honey, Sweetheart.”

“Liar…”, Yára panted with a smile and looked down at him, so he flashed her a cheeky grin and admitted, “True, not exactly like honey, but still very good…”

“Yes, “good” is the right word for this.”, she agreed and cupped his bearded cheek in one of her almost tiny, yet strong hands. Anders needed no more of an invitation than this, so he draped her leg over his shoulder and began to kiss her between her legs, sucked and licked to find all the right places, all the soft spots that would earn him a moan.

He heard Yára pant and moan almost silently which made him determined to elicit more from her, much more, so he redoubled his effort, sucked harder and purred against her flesh as he felt her fingers slide into his damp hair. The urgent bucking of her hips against him told him that she was close, so he dipped his tongue into her before he replaced it with two of his fingers, easily gliding into her. As he returned to suckling the hardened nub and simultaneously moved his fingers, Anders felt Yára’s grip in his hair grow so firm it verged on pain, but the exhausted moan and the lustful sighs after it, together with how she squirmed before him told Anders that she was done.

He, on the other hand, had just gotten started. Grinning, he hooked his arm into the hollow of her knee and got up, making her tense so he also grabbed hold of her other leg and picked her up so she was fully at his mercy.

Yára looked him in the eye and stroked over his heaving chest, beckoning him closer, so Anders did not hesitate to kiss her deeply. Her arms slumped to her sides and he took her hands into his before he broke away for air.

Her eyes closed, Yára leaned her head against the dark wood of the door and sinfully licked her lips before teasing: “Right, it’s not like honey…”

Anders gasped in surprise and then laughed with her before he kissed her again, made her taste herself and then whispered against her lips, “But it does taste good, doesn’t it?”

“Hmm…”, she thoughtfully purred, “Maybe. But I guess you are not half bad yourself.”

“You could find out.”, Anders drawled and leaned in, „Really, I’d like that, but right now…I just want you. Right here. Now.“

“Agreed.”, Yára panted and squeezed his hands before pressing her groin against his, impatient and filled with lust. Anders grinned wickedly and withdrew a little, earning an infuriated grunt from her.

“Relax, Sweetheart.”, he chuckled, “Just teasing.”

Saying this, he returned to her and agonizingly slowly, he sheathed himself in Yára’s body, making them both pant from the sensation. Once they were flush together, Anders did not dare to move and simply stood there, the elf in his arms, and the two of them panting, chests heaving. Yára was the first to lose her patience and she bucked against him, tried to free her hands, but Anders tightened his grip and pressed her to the door with his body, thereby pressing deeper into her as well.

They both groaned at this, but although he wanted nothing more than move against her and wear them both out, make them sweat and cry in pleasure, he wore a smile and teased her: “I could stay like this for a while, how ‘bout you?”

She threateningly growled at him, but his smile simply broadened at this: “You don’t? C’mon, isn’t it comfortable?”

Angrily, her eyes narrowed, but then she suddenly smiled.

“Uh oh…”, Anders mumbled, for he knew that this smile was incredibly dangerous. He gulped when Yára leaned closer and tightened the grip she had on him with her legs. She kissed him, startling him for a moment, but then he leaned in and savoured the kiss, battled her tongue and over this, he reacted way too slowly to catch her hands again she now broke free. She then also broke the kiss, grinned at him and slid her fingers into his hair again, then onto his shoulders and with this leverage, she started to buck her hips against him, depriving him of his little bit of self-control he had needed to keep up the tease.

“Right…”, Anders moaned, “That’s a way better idea anyway…”

Yára giggled and he silenced her by finally starting to thrust, which got him a surprised moan. He himself was not able to say anything either, so he refrained from even trying and all that could be heard in the washroom was their panting and moaning, occasionally accentuated by a low thud when Yára’s back hit the door.

Breathless, Andes kissed the elf’s slender shoulder, then napped at her neck and wandered upwards until he reached her lips again, which he caught in a heated, sloppy kiss. He had waited for this, hoped for it for so long, but now, as he could not help but move faster, their movements equally frantic, he knew that it would be over soon.

With a loud cry of satisfaction, Anders pinned her against the door behind her and he panted, desperate for air, but Yára gave him no opportunity, she still moved against him feverishly and jerked at his hair to force him into another kiss so deep and urgent, he would almost have stumbled back. When she bit his lip, Anders felt her twitch and quiver, but then she went limp in his arms and lazily held onto his neck, breathing heavily and placing tender butterfly kisses onto his shoulder and chest as far as she could reach.

For a moment, he did not know what to say or do, but then he simply decided to act. Grabbing her backside and making her yelp by it, Anders turned around and went to the tub, carefully lowering Yára into the still warm, yet no longer hot water, before he climbed in himself.

“We could both use a bath now.”, he smiled at her and again, she giggled, but as he reached for soap, she playfully slapped his hand away from it.

Astonished, Anders looked at her and saw her smirk like a cat. With equal grace, she glided to him through the warm water and murmured as she climbed onto his lap: “Why wash now if we will sweat again soon?”

“I like your way of thinking, Sweetheart.”, he replied and she smiled before she leaned in and kissed him. In between kisses, Anders panted jokingly, although he was serious with every word he said: “You know, we…we should really keep this arrangement up. No cold bedrolls ever again and the nights would be more fun.”

“And the days.”, Yára retorted, startling him, but then he laughed and pulled her close, “Yes, and the days. Where have you been all my life?”

“In the Brecilian Forest most of the time.”, she said with a smile, before she purred, „But now I’m here and nothing else matters.“

True enough, Anders thought as he pulled her in for a kiss.


End file.
